Pauses Make Conversations Better & Relationships Deeper

I’ve always had this part of me that feels responsible to fill silent pauses in a conversation.

At first it was the unfairness of it that allowed me to let the silence sit there with us. Once I felt I had been carrying more than my fair share for a while I would just not start anymore topics, but would happily respond and even ask follow-ups. The awkwardness was gone because I had fulfilled my responsibility.

Once I had the skill to sit comfortably with silence I found something hiding there. Two things, in fact, if both people involved had the skill! Time to let your mind wander and the feeling of connection through just presence.

With no pressure, my mind became free to wander and new curiosities would pop in my head to bring up once the pause had its turn.

And if the other person has this skill too then you both know that connection of presence is enough. If the silence drags on not only is that fine, it could be enjoyable.