I Miss My Kids Being Bored
My wife and I had the privilege to homeschool our four kids (currently 7-14 )with me being the stay-at-home-parent. I have spent a lot more time with my kids compared to most American parents. It is my as-objective-as-possible-opinion that my kids are different.
They enjoy speaking to adults and have high self-esteem and confidence. They know how to have arguments with their siblings without screaming. They are funny as long as it’s before their bedtime (they think they are still funny after, but not me). They are kind and love sharing with their friends.
Neither my wife or I have been to public school so when we put them in public school they were breaking new ground for all of us. It has been fascinating! There is so much bullshit to put up with from other students, the teachers, or the curriculum.
The real value they are taking away from this is the contrast between this and homeschooling. They DO seem to be being educated, but they feel it’s slow especially in math. It takes all-fucking-day where homeschool takes less than four hours. They hate that it’s five days a week of getting up really early ( 6:15am). But they love the social connections. They only had a few neighborhood friends previously since we moved here only a few years ago.
Lately, I’ve noticed a changed that has happened so slowly it hasn’t been apparent until now. They don’t get bored enough anymore. They’ve got enough friends to text or hang out with or screens to watch that they have stopped doing those weird things you do when you are only bored.
Color a picture with markers or crayons and talk or think.
Decide you’re gonna sew this drink coaster you saw on youtube.
Try to start a fire with just a magnifying glass.
Finally learn how to ride the skateboard you got for Christmas months ago.
The game called Block Blast is what made me realize something had happened. It started with our kids’ friends playing that game on their phone WHILE they were talking. Then I found out our kids were playing it too. When asked they said, “I just play it when waiting for the bus and I’m bored.”
I tried my best to explain to them that the time they stand at the bus and let their mind wander is something that is really valuable, but doesn’t seem like it. In those boring moments our human creativity is tagged in to fix the situation! Filling those moments with low-dopamine stimuli like block blast or insta or tiktok doesn’t give your creativity anytime to grow and shine and show you what you can do.
When you feel bored, realize you’re in one of the most fertile environments for your brain and try to plant a few seeds!
I hope my kids weren’t to bored to remember this lesson.
Maybe coming up in the future:
What activities do we value for their boredom?
I read George Mack’s High Agency essay to our kids. Were they bored?
My thoughts on screen time and Fortnite vs other games.
