The Real Gains: Watching Bros Flex for More than Muscle
I tried resting harder, taking deep breaths and swinging my arms, excited to begin the final set of my whole workout. The mirror wall in the back room of the gym reflected my exhaustion back to me, in case feeling it wasn’t enough. A serious gym bro with huge arms and his less serious gym buddy walked in and picked a spot in front of the mirror, a bit close to me.
I thought, "That's a weird spot. There's no equipment there.” My confusion cleared up when they started taking off their shirts!
I really wished I could leave, but that would’ve made it more awkward as they could see I was resting between sets. So I started my set, focusing on my form… and being able to leave.
The thought that they might be about to flex in the mirror was blowing my mind. I jumped to ridiculous conclusions and started filling in a backstory befitting two egomaniac assholes leaving little chance that they could ever be someone I could respect.
And then they stepped up to the mirror, accepting the roles I had written for them, and started posing. Flexing and admiring each muscle as though they had sculpted them like artists. The serious bro was, as his arms had hinted, absolutely chiseled.
The other guy, though, looked… a lot like me. Well, more like me than serious bro and more like me than I wanted. Seeing us as nearly the same shattered my expectations, leaving me searching for a new way to frame it.
Other reasons why they could be doing this suddenly became possible. Instead of self-worship, maybe it was self-congratulations. Instead of vanity, maybe it was a celebration of discipline and consistency. I started wishing I could do what they were doing.
But I couldn’t. I pondered why as I finished my workout. I didn’t like the answer that came: “I’m not where I want to be yet.” I didn’t like it because it felt like a goalpost that would get perpetually moved beyond where I was at the time.
I wish I could tell you I ripped off my shirt in a burst of self-acceptance, chest-bumping my new bros as we all flexed together. But real growth isn’t that cinematic. Instead, I decided that self-acceptance, especially regarding body appearance, is something I will discuss with friends, reflect on introspectively, and maybe bring up with my therapist.
I never thought a lesson on self-acceptance could come from a couple of Gym Bros.
Bonus: This situation inspired another round of a game called, “Blow Past JT’s Mind!” I take a new belief or behavior and phrase it in a way that younger me would find impossible or hilarious or hilariously impossible to believe:
2024 Me: "Next year you'll want to flex at the gym."
2023 Me (laughing hysterically): "I can’t see that happening… AT ALL."
2024 Me: "For emotional maturity, not muscles."
2023 Me: "Oh, you have my attention! That's a flex I could imagine!"
